Sometimes You Just Need To Let a The Tears Flow

I know I talk a lot about looking at the bright side of the situation and not dwelling on the bad. Sometimes though you do just need to go ahead and have a little (or a big) cry.

Today has been my day. It started at some point during the night when I woke up thinking about something someone had said. I really don’t think they meant it the way it seemed but it set a fear in my heart.

Tomorrow is a big day… out 20 week scan. We’ve already had quite a bit of not so good news that any parent wouldn’t want to receive but the remark made me fear that I might get worse news tomorrow.

On top of that we are all dealing with effects of ‘social distancing’ and that means that I can’t bring anyone to my appointment with me. That brought even more fears of what I might do if I did get more bad news tomorrow.

I’ve also been dealing with some insurance drama. I’ve been experiencing some heart issues related to the pregnancy and some of the medication I was prescribed. I have an appointment but the cardiologist can’t get an authorization from the insurance unless my PCP makes the referral.

Well, my PCP doesn’t want to see me because I’m an OB patient now. I’ve spoken to several people and left messages. I have a caseworker from my insurance trying to sort it out now so maybe I’ll know something soon.

So today I guess the stress and pregnancy hormones have gotten to me and I’ve found myself crying at random moments throughout the day. I’m talking about uncontrollable sobbing… it’s been bad but I know I probably just need to get it out.

I also have to remind myself that the Bible doesn’t tell us to worry and doubt or to be afraid. Instead we are to trust in His plan, His word, and His promises. I know that He is allowing this for a reason and He is preparing me for something better to come.

Even though it’s been a rough day I know that things will get better. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go to this appointment tomorrow.

Thank you all!

May 28, 2017

I pray you are all having a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. This past month has been extremely busy around here with this past week being the busiest of all. It has been a blast though and many memories have been made.

Our homeschool will be wrapping up this coming week with a special surprise outing planned as a treat. We are all looking forward to just having a little fun and maybe getting to relax a bit.

My youngest child just turned 4 this month! I can hardly believe how fast time has flown and how much has changed since the day we brought him home. My kids amaze me everyday and I am so blessed to be able to stay at home and watch them as they learn and grow.

My oldest son came to visit this past week! Yay! We had not seen him in almost 4 years because of his employment. He also brought along his beautiful wife, my first daughter in law, who I had not met before. We had such a great time. It was hard to say goodbye but I know that they will be back soon. All we can do is trust that God will watch over them and keep them safe along life’s journey.

Amongst all of the visiting, homeschooling, and other normal routines of the house I also had my square dancing. Ahhh… if anyone had told me a few months ago how involved I would become in square dancing I wouldn’t have believed them. I probably would’ve laughed a little but it is amazing how things can sometimes just fall into place.

Our club in Starke, the Silver Fox Squares, has been very busy and we dance every Friday night. We have also had some special dances, visitations, and other activities that we attended throughout the month including a Luau and a banner raid. I have earned two new dangles this month. As the publicity chairman for the club I am constantly busy with updating the sites, planning new events, and looking for new ideas.

In addition to the Friday nights, we also have dances and classes on Tuesday nights in Fort White. We have been trying to recruit new dancers and had a covered dish dinner on the first night of class. So far we have a couple of couples who have come to join us and we are looking forward to seeing some new faces this coming week.

And then we have the Clay Allemanders in Middleburg on Mondays. Our caller and co-caller from the Silver Fox Squares are the callers there as well. This club has also been extremely busy with the transition to the new callers and the fact that we moved to a new dance location this month.

I am also the caller’s assistant to one of the callers so I have been busy with a few other details as well. We went to visit the Grand Squares, in Gainesville, earlier in the month and I got to meet a lot of new people. He was also able to reconnect with some people he had not seen in awhile. Square dancing has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone, in a good way, and allowed me to expand my horizons and meet a lot of new people.

My youngest son, and my oldest son and his wife, attended the dance this past Tuesday. It was a lot of fun to have some of my children there. My little one didn’t make it through the night before he curled up and fell asleep. My oldest however did seem to enjoy himself and caught on quite quickly. I hope to be able to expose my children to it a little bit at a time and eventually get them involved more with square dancing.

I have been trying to squeeze in some blogging between all of the different activities that are going on. I have so many drafts started that it would make you go cross eyed if you could see them. The topics are quite varied as well because I get so many ideas and just try to write them down as I think of them. I hope you all have enjoyed the ones I have managed to publish and I pray that you do find something that helps you or inspires you in some way.

As i write this and think about it I am completely amazed at the awesomeness of God! He has a plan for each of us and He knows what He is doing. He has been working in my life in so many ways and He has been preparing me for where I am now for quite some time. All I had to do was let go and trust Him to guide me to where I needed to be.

Well, my little one just climbed up on the stool beside me and is sneaking sips of my cold coffee. Another one has mentioned that he was ready for snack a minute ago so I will get off of here and set out some snacks for them to hopefully hold them over until lunch time. I pray you all have a blessed day and week to come!

Yellow Rocks (hugs) to all!

Links to club updates will be posted soon:

Silver Fox Squares: June 2017 Updates

Clay Allemanders: June 2017 Updates

November 18, 2016: Dealing with gossip and rumors

This week has been hard, really hard. It has been painful and upsetting. I have been dealing with a lot of gossip and rumors for what seems like an eternity. Every time things get bad I have tried to find the source to no avail. However, there has always been one person in the center of it who wants to know everything. Continue reading “November 18, 2016: Dealing with gossip and rumors”

Shattered

This post was from my original blog…

 

Continue reading “Shattered”