Tag Archives: trust God

Nights Are The Hardest

Today has been a bad day, a really bad day. I won’t go into detail except to say that my heart is very heavy and sad right now. Sometimes people come into our lives unexpectedly and they make such an impact on us that we can’t imagine life without them. Sometimes we tend to overlook the bad things and choose not to see what we should be seeing because they mean so much to us.

Sometimes these things come back to haunt us. The little things we had been ignoring and choosing not to see. The little things that we just didn’t ask about or the things that just didn’t make sense and weren’t questioned suddenly turn into an erupting volcano. Sometimes there’s a warning that things are about to take a sudden turn but often times it just happens out of the blue.

Then we are left wondering what we could’ve and should’ve done differently. Did we handle the situation correctly or maybe we should have given them just one more chance. While we don’t want them to feel like we’ve given we know that we can’t just keep letting things slide either. We have to stand up for our values and beliefs and instead of clinging to the hopes that someone will change, we may just need to let them go.

We can’t force someone to change, change must come from within. Sometimes we need to distance ourselves from others so that everyone involved can see the problem more clearly. It also helps us to get our thoughts straight. When we can see and think clearly we may see the solution come to light. While others may feel like we have abandoned them when the going got tough, we are really just trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt even more.

The downfall is that we may start to dwell on the problems and our thoughts may run rampant. For me, I can keep myself pretty busy and occupied during the day, if I try. I must find something else to focus on and I have to pray, really pray hard. If I don’t, I find that the problem can become an obsession which is not good for anyone. Luckily I have a few little people who can keep me occupied and busy.

However, once night falls and the kids are in bed I start to settle down. I will take the dog out for her last walk before bed and the stillness of the night gets to me. I put her in her bed and switch off the lights before heading to bed myself. I will get up a couple of times to double check the doors, the lights, and the loft gate. I will listen to my sleeping babes and listen to the sounds of the night on our little pond.

I hear the animals calling out for their mates and I feel so lonely. All I can think about is how lonely I am. Really I was lonely before this as we had stopped communicating a while back. I don’t know what caused it for sure but I did try to fix it. Could I have done more? Did I try too hard? Who knows what I could’ve done.

My mind replays the good times and then it replays the bad times, both of which bring tears to my eyes. I lay here and wonder what the future holds. I am comforted because I know that God has a plan and a purpose for everything. I also know that He can bring some of the greatest blessings out of our hardest trials. This helps to calm me and bring me peace about the situation but it is still hard to accept that this person is gone, maybe forever.

Love can be such a crazy fickle thing but it can also be one of the greatest feelings in the whole world. I am reminded that my God loves me more than anyone here on earth can and that He is looking out for me. I know that He will provide me with all that I need and I can find rest in His arms when I am ready to let go and give my problems over to Him.

Why not join me? If you have something that is bothering you and keeping you up then please join me in asking God to take care of it and leave it in His hands.

Right now, Heavenly Father I pray that You will touch anyone reading this and help them with whatever their situation is, that You will bring them the healing they need for whatever they are going through, that You will give them the strength and courage to face tomorrow because it is a new day, a day full of blessings unknown. Please Lord take our worries and cares and deal with them as You see fit. In Jesus name, Amen.

You are worth more than rubies

She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. –Proverbs 3:15

I am writing this for my beautiful daughters but it really could be directed to all of the women out there, young and old.

First and foremost, I want you to know how much I love you! I have loved you since before I even met you. I don’t want you to ever doubt that in any way. As your mother it is my responsibility to protect you and look out for you. Please don’t ever think that I am trying to be critical or trying to discourage you. I only want the best for you and if I say something about a guy you are interested in I am only being honest because I have learned some traits to look for and some traits to avoid. In the end I will be there for you no matter what and I want you to know that.

I want you to know how wonderful you are. Everything about you is perfect and I don’t want you to ever feel like it isn’t. How do I know that? Because God was your creator and He makes no mistakes. He has lovingly created you and He only wants the best for you because before you were my child you belonged, and still belong, to Him.

I know life is hard and especially when it come to the romance department it can be really tough. I want you to remember that you deserve the best in whoever your partner is. I want you to set your standards high because you don’t need to settle. You should never settle because God has someone in mind for you and that someone will not only meet those standards you set but he will exceed those standards. How do I know that? Because God has a plan for each of us. He loves us and truly only wants the best for us. He can do the impossible.

You deserve to be loved, but not just loved like the general idea of love, you deserve to be cherished. You deserve someone who is loyal and honest. You deserve someone who longs to be with you just as much as you long to be with them. You deserve someone who will look after your heart as they look after their own. If you will take your requests to God He will supply. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but according to His timing which is always right on time.

So for now I want you to take things slow. Learn to be patient and trust in the Lord. Develop your relationship with God because His love is the only perfect love. When you have a close relationship with God everything else will start to fall into place.

Use this time wisely. Ask God to help you and to show you the areas that need improvement. He is molding you and training you into the person He wants you to be. When we don’t give Him control then it makes this process so much more difficult.

Don’t just pray for yourself but pray for this future partner. You may not know him right now, you may live in different zip codes, or you may know him and not even think of him as ‘the one’. God knows who He is. Ask God to work in His life as He is working in your life. When you both are ready God will reveal him to you.

Don’t chase guys or waste time on guys who refuse to meet your standards because when God puts His plan into motion the right guy is gonna find you! I promise! I joked before that the guy for me would have to be driving the UPS or FedEx truck as I never went anywhere for anyone to find me. I was wrong. God put me where I needed to be and He will do the same for you.

Don’t let these guys tell you that your standards are too high! Don’t let them make excuses!  Your standards are your standards and they have no right to judge them. This is just a sign that they are not the one for you. When you find the one God intends for you then you will be just what He was looking for, just as He will be just what you have been looking for.

Don’t settle because you think that you will be able to change them! That kind of change can only come from above. It is possible that the guy you like right now may be the guy God has chosen for you but it may be that God is not finished with him yet. God is working on the perfect man for you.

I may not be a relationship expert but I have made my fair share of mistakes when it comes to not waiting on God. I don’t want you to make those mistakes and deal with the heartache that goes along with them. Every heartbreak will leave a scar and will make it that much harder for you to love someone in the future.

I have faith that there is someone out there who is waiting for you. He has made his list and he knows what he is waiting for. You are worth the wait!

Daughters, you are beautiful, smart, funny, and wonderful. Anyone that thinks otherwise or puts you down is not someone you need to be with. Please remember that you are a daughter of the king and He wants what is best for you. If you trust in Him He will provide you with so much more than your heart can imagine.

I am praying for each of my children and their future/current spouses. Times are especially hard right now and it will be so much harder for our children to remain pure and to keep their focus on God.

Lord, I ask you today to watch over these young women. Show them how beautifully and wonderfully made they are. Lord, guard their hearts and keep them pure. Be with them as they wait on you and help them to develop the character traits that they will need for their roles as wives and mothers in the future.

Please watch over their future partners and protect them. Keep them pure, guard their hearts, and help them to keep their focus on You, Lord. Help these young men to develop the character traits that they will need to be the husbands and fathers they will need to be in the future.

Thank you for you mercy and grace on all of us. Amen!

Below are some links that young women and their parents can check out:

Traits of a Godly Wife

Having the Right Perspective When Praying for a Future Husband

Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His

How to use the Bible to Pray For Your Future (or Current) Spouse

6 Prayers For Finding A Godly Spouse

12 Ways to Pray for Your
Child’s Future Mate

Five Prayers for Your Daughter

Prayer for my daughter who seeks a relationship.

A prayer for my daughter to find a godly husband.

 

** Featured image is from Mr. Amari Soul on Facebook.

December 12, 2016

Good morning! I had intended to write this post about the peaceful mornings but plans changed. I started my day as usual and the kids actually slept in a bit so I was not being hurried to get breakfast ready and on the table.

I sat down with my coffee and reflected on a few things. One of which was yesterday’s sermon about clinging to grace. We need to remember that when times are hard and nothing seems to be going right that we still have grace to carry us through. We need to keep holding fast to the promises that God has given us. He has a plan for us and He knows what we need even we don’t really have a clue.

I have had many a day when I have felt so discouraged and sad. Part of this is due to the fact that I don’t have someone to walk alongside of. Someone to share my little joys with or someone to hold me when I am down. I do miss having someone to hold my hand or the feeling of someone coming up behind me and wrapping their arms around me and holding me tight. I sometimes long to have someone to talk to about my day or being able to listen to someone tell me about their day. I miss having someone to snuggle close to when the nights are cold or when I don’t want to get up in the morning.

I try my best not to dwell on these feelings as I know that God is in control. I know that right now my focus needs to be on Him and the rest will fall into place. He is always there and will never leave me. He knows the innermost thoughts of my heart and all of my desires. He will comfort me like no one else can. I know that if it is in His will for me to have someone beside me He will allow our paths to cross.

So for now I will continue to pray for His wisdom and guidance, not only for myself, but for the one He has chosen for me. I pray that God will bless Him beyond measure and supply all his needs. I pray that  He will guide him and protect him and that He will surround Him with people who will encourage him. I pray that God will continue to mold him and shape him into the man God intends him to be.

I don’t know God’s will or His plans for my life but I know that He loves me and only wants the best for me. I also know that a lot of my problems have been because I wasn’t patient enough and didn’t wait for Him to reveal His plan to me. I tried to do things my own way and they didn’t turn out the way I had planned. I’ve made so many mistakes and suffered so many failures.

I pray that God will continue to work in my life and mold me and shape me into the person He wants me to be. I know that He can turn mistakes into miracles and that God has not forgotten about me. I pray that if it is not His will for me to have someone to walk with that He will fill my heart with joy and help me to be content where I am right now.

Right now, I will keep my focus on Him and on the job He has blessed me with as a mother and a keeper of my home. This is an important job that He has placed on me and it is full of responsibilities. My attitude and behavior will influence everyone around me especially my children. God calls us to show His love to all of those around us and I pray that everyone I meet can see how His love overflows from my heart. I pray that everyone around me will always feel loved, welcomed, safe, and comforted when they enter into our home.

Yes, it would be so much easier if I had someone to help me shoulder the many burdens of raising a family and keeping a home but God will give me the strength I need. I don’t really look at my role as a burden as I try to do everything with a servant’s heart because I love my family. So I will try not to be discouraged and I will keep singing His praises because God is so good to me! He has blessed me, an unworthy sinner, and He has loved me and shown me His grace and mercy. So for now I will indeed continue to cling to that grace and allow it to carry me through this difficult part of my journey.

Do you care enough to walk away?

We all have people in our lives that we care about and some that we truly love. These can be family members or friends. These people have touched our lives in so many ways and we couldn’t imagine life without them.

So what happens when you just can’t be around them? Maybe you’ve had a fight or they’ve moved away. It helps when you can apologize and makes things right again. Or if they’ve moved we still have many ways to communicate with them.

Sometimes though things happen that just can’t be fixed and no matter how hard we try it seems that we only make things worse. Sometimes our friends and loved ones just walk away and never really give a reason why. They don’t reply to our attempts at contacting them. It feels as though we have been abandoned. This can hurt worse than anything as I have come to find out.

Sometimes as I’ve learned that others may have been jealous of your friendship with someone. They may have been making your friend’s life miserable because of you through no fault of your own. This happens when others are selfish and desire control over another person. They may call it love but that’s not how love works.

Love wants the people in your life to be happy, love is not selfish, and love does not come with conditions. Love shows in your everyday actions towards others. It shows in the little texts you send just to make them smile, the little notes you leave to let them know you were thinking of them. Or buying them there favorite food or drink and leaving it somewhere they would be sure to find it.

Love gives without expecting anything in return. When you’ve made another person smile out of pure joy then your heart fills up until its about to burst. Just seeing that person happy is enough until it’s not and they are gone.

So, if you’ve experienced this and you’ve tried to do rectify the situation but haven’t succeeded, what do you do? If you just want an answer, what do you do?

Well, for me I’ve come to the point that I am not going to do anything but pray. I have taken this person and their situation and left it in God’s hands. I don’t know what is going on in their life and no matter how bad I wanted to be there they didn’t want me there for them.

I’m not going to cling to the ‘What ifs’ and wonder what might have been because it’s not reality. I’m not going to harass them or pour my heart to them because that would only make them feel worse. It’s possible they walked away because they cared about me and didn’t want me to be caught up in their drama. I don’t know. I do feel that if that was case I should’ve had a say in it as to whether I wanted to stay or not. Why didn’t I get a goodbye?

I do know that I valued this person’s friendship and I have some really fond memories of them. I will keep those in my heart and I will continue to pray for them. I know that I loved them and that I my love was shown with everything I did for them. Maybe that scared them? That I don’t know and maybe never will.

I know that I tried and I know that my friend knows where I am if they ever need me. We may never be able to pick up where we left off but we could still have a friendship and be there for one another.

I may never get the answers I sought as to what happened but that’s OK. I trust that God knows the circumstances and that there is a reason for these kinds of things to happen. He brings people into our lives for different reasons and I am not going to question His plans for me.

So even though months later pain is still there and my heart bears the deep scars but I know I can walk away. I know that my presence would only cause more heartache and grief on their part so I will walk away. That’s how love works. You would sacrifice your own feelings and comfort for another person’s happiness. Yep, that’s how it is supposed to work.

 

God is everywhere, even at McDonalds

I just read a post on Facebook that really touched me. It was originally posted January 20, 2015 by Gerrard B. Laidler. This is a very moving testimony and reveals how great and awesome our God truly is.

He can reach down to anyone in the deepest darkest moments of their lives and he can bring them out of whatever situation they are in. Then he can use those that he has helped and lifted up to help others.

So please remember that no matter what your past is God can use it for His glory. Your story may be the story that one certain person needs to hear, you may be the only light that can lead them to Christ.

44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” – Luke 7:44-48

Below is a copy of the post from Facebook and it should link back to the original post, if you wish to read it there as well. I hope it touches your heart like it did mine.

Tears of relief

Gerrard B. Laidler

TEARS OF RELIEF…(a Testimony Nugget)
The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. As I sat in my car while the insanely “cheap gas” filled my tank…out of nowhere this woman taps on my window, “Can you please buy me something to eat?” Opening my car door, I took my headphones off and said, “Excuse Me!” She responded: “Can you please buy me something to eat?” Instantly frustrated: It’s 34 degrees outside. I just worked 12hrs overnight from 7pm-7am. I’ve been under the weather for the past few days. And I just want to go home, take some more NyQuil and tap out again (Big Sigh). “Go inside and I’ll be in shortly,” I motion to her. Still sitting in my car, I replay the words of this lady in my head and say to myself: “She did not ask for money, but for food!” I’ll definitely do this, I concluded as I hopped out of the car.

Inside of McDonald’s…

I approach the counter and the lady appears from behind me like a dark shadow. I motion towards her, “What will you like”? “A two for three Egg Mcmuffin,” she exclaims hesitantly. In this moment I decide to get me a “two for three” as well, but I substitute the Mcmuffins for their biscuits (y’all should try this). Meanwhile, once our food is placed on the counter, I walk to the back of the restaurant to divide our sandwiches. In a hurry, I quickly tell her “you don’t need to be out here in this freezing weather like this!” “I don’t have a place to stay,” she mummers. “I’m homeless!” The conversation continues. “What is your name?” I ask, politely. She replies and shares a bit more about herself as I listen intently. “Sir, I can’t be over here by you for long. My boyfriend is jealous and he will jump on me if he sees me talking to another man!” At this point I’ve recognized a golden opportunity for ministry as I blurted out: THAT COWARD AIN’T GON’ DO NOTHING TO YOU (y’all pray for me. I can’t stand to hear about a man beating on a woman).

Sharing My Testimony…

Ma’am, look at me! I slowly make a handgun signal with my right hand, point it directly in her face, and pull the trigger while shouting…”POW!” I continue. “Can you look at me and tell that I was shot at point-blank-range in my face?” She nods her head in disbelief. “Ma’am, I should be dead, but God kept me here to talk with people like you.” In addition, I share my notorious 10 year drug history and prison background so as to come down to her level of common ground and reasoning. For the most part, I realize one important aspect of ministry, is this: If You Have No Common Ground With The One You’re Ministering To And Cannot Relate To Their Pain Or Struggles…It’s Less Effective In Pulling Them In. This explains why Jesus wrapped himself in our human flesh. He knew that in order to save mankind, He had to experience all of the tears, all of the burdens, all of the pain, and all of the sorrow of mankind, including death (Heb. 4:15). Frankly, It’s just something about it when you have previously worn the filthy shoes of the one you’re now trying to convince that they should remove off of their feet for their own good.

Tears Of Relief…

With the stage set, I asked the most reckoning and eternal question that every human being alive must answer someday: “Do you know Jesus Christ as your ‘personal’ Lord & Savior and the free pardoning of your sins?” (John 14:6). Tears begin to roll down her face. The question pierced her heart. She rebuts, “I’m afraid to accept Christ, because I’m afraid I will fail Christ!” I explain to her that due to our fleshy nature and frailty, walking in 100% complete perfection as a Christian is a myth from Satan. We strive for it, however, we are constantly changed daily through prayer, studying scripture, and submitting to the power of the Holy Spirit within us. The biggest lie the devil presses upon our minds is that we are just out here alone to fend for ourselves. We have Peace, Power, and His Presence within. The Tears Are Pouring Heavier and Profusely.

Brighter Days Ahead…

With the Spirit of God moving, I grabbed her by the hands and asked her plainly: Would You Like To Settle Your Eternal Destiny & Resting Place After You Depart This World? Tears Steady Flowing. “Yes!,” she finds the strength to speak. Holding her hands firmly, I said repeat after me. We Began: “Dear Lord, Jesus. Please Forgive Me For All Of My Sins…I Know My Heart Is Not Right With Thee…” Tears Of Relief Are Pouring. And Oh!…How A Peace And Calm Filled That Section. Heaven Rejoiced! Meanwhile, to encourage her of Brighter Days Ahead, after being released from a Federal Prison, I reflected back on how God has blessed me with two jobs: One that provides a 401K, full health, dental, vision, and another life insurance policy. And the other, a night shift manager to further develop my professional, communication, and business management skills as I seek to press forward after everybody counted me out since all I’ve ever did for money was sell drugs. Finally, I said “You are beautiful. Your life has purpose and meaning. And if God can turn my life around I am speaking over your life for TRANSFORMATION, RESTORATION, EXALTATION, and Financial REHABILITATION! You may not understand if you’ve never had it hard in life. But I was elated that I pushed myself aside so that God could use lil ole’ me. What A Beautiful Picture Of Tears Of Relief… ~MrGBL

****Prophetically, I’m Believing A Behavioral, Relational, Occupational, and Double Financial Turnaround For Everyone Who Shares This Timely Post On Their Page. The World Needs To Know That Nothing Is Too Hard For God…#Type AMEN! #Share

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Open Doors

Sometimes we go through things in life that are really difficult. Just this past year I have been through a few very difficult things that I really didn’t understand. One thing I have learned is that when God closes one door He will open another one. When He takes away something it is because He has something better in store for us.
I know that when you are in the throes of a major struggle or event it is hard to find comfort in the fact that all things work for the greater good. It is hard to see that He has a bigger plan in mind and that He already knows what lies ahead. It is almost impossible to accept the circumstances and depend on Him.
If we can trust Him He will show us the way. He has created us in our own unique fashion. Each of us has different gifts, talents, and abilities that He can use for His purpose. Before we can see the doors He is opening for us we must let Him close the ones behind us. Remembering that no one can open a door that He has closed and that we must let go of the missed opportunities and quit living in the past.
The future can be uncertain and it can be scary to determine what opportunities would be the right ones to venture into. Just because something feels right doesn’t mean it is right or that it was sent from God. On the other had just because something feels uncertain or questionable does not mean it isn’t right or that it wasn’t sent from God.
How do we know what doors to go through? This can be tricky but we should always know that it wouldn’t go against God’s word, if it was sent by Him. If we pray about the matter we will receive an answer about whether it is right or not.
Sometimes we think we have received the ‘go ahead’ only to find that we are facing many troubles. That could be because we didn’t actually receive the confirmation or because we face many enemies in our journeys. We will find that we need to fully depend on God to lead us where we need to go.
Our enemies will try to distract us from our purpose, they may attack us directly or they may use others to hinder us. They will try to tempt us away from the doors that God has opened. These attacks can be physical or spiritual in nature. They could even be disguised as something we have wanted to try to lure us away. Don’t be fooled. Don’t be discouraged.
We should recognize these battles as progress because there is a force that knows we are working to fulfill God’s purpose and plan. Just because God opened the door doesn’t mean it will be smooth sailing. If we didn’t have these struggles then maybe we should wonder if we are on the right path. Just remember to follow God and ask Him for wisdom and guidance.
When the battles get rough remember that God has a reason for opening the doors He has opened for us. He wants us to go through these doors and down these paths for our own good. When we feel like giving up we need to remember that He is our strength and our refuge. He will give us victory over every obstacle we face on our journey. He will bring us peace and joy in our lives.
Always trust God because He has the plan and He will always do what is best for us.