I know I talk a lot about looking at the bright side of the situation and not dwelling on the bad. Sometimes though you do just need to go ahead and have a little (or a big) cry.
Today has been my day. It started at some point during the night when I woke up thinking about something someone had said. I really don’t think they meant it the way it seemed but it set a fear in my heart.
Tomorrow is a big day… out 20 week scan. We’ve already had quite a bit of not so good news that any parent wouldn’t want to receive but the remark made me fear that I might get worse news tomorrow.
On top of that we are all dealing with effects of ‘social distancing’ and that means that I can’t bring anyone to my appointment with me. That brought even more fears of what I might do if I did get more bad news tomorrow.
I’ve also been dealing with some insurance drama. I’ve been experiencing some heart issues related to the pregnancy and some of the medication I was prescribed. I have an appointment but the cardiologist can’t get an authorization from the insurance unless my PCP makes the referral.
Well, my PCP doesn’t want to see me because I’m an OB patient now. I’ve spoken to several people and left messages. I have a caseworker from my insurance trying to sort it out now so maybe I’ll know something soon.
So today I guess the stress and pregnancy hormones have gotten to me and I’ve found myself crying at random moments throughout the day. I’m talking about uncontrollable sobbing… it’s been bad but I know I probably just need to get it out.
I also have to remind myself that the Bible doesn’t tell us to worry and doubt or to be afraid. Instead we are to trust in His plan, His word, and His promises. I know that He is allowing this for a reason and He is preparing me for something better to come.
Even though it’s been a rough day I know that things will get better. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go to this appointment tomorrow.
Thank you all!