All posts by Susie @ Kirby's Kabin Blog

First and foremost, I am a daughter of the King.​ I am also a slightly crazy, square dancing Momma with a houseful of babies (9 to be exact), a little bit of coffee, and a whole lot of Jesus! I thank God for each and everyday He has given me and for the days ahead. I know we are not promised tomorrow and we need to cherish every minute of everyday we have here. We need to hold our loved ones close and make sure they know how much we love them and care for them. I have been through a lot in my time here on earth and I know God is preparing me for a bigger plan. I do not know what His plan is for me and sometimes I don't understand. I know that I must keep my eyes on Him and keep my faith in His promises. I am not perfect and I do not pretend to be. I am sinner saved by grace and I just want to bring honor and glory to His name. I pray that my blog will help to inspire others and that they may find hope and encouragement in knowing they are not alone in their battles. Let us each strive to be a light to others in their darkness. That our light may lead others to Him and cause others to come to know Him. I pray that everyone who reads this may be touched by His loving hand and receive Him so that they may also be heirs to His glorious kingdom.

Beware of the Jezebels

Recently I was doing a study on being a help meet. I have done this same study before when I was married and I just needed something to occupy my mind. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to refresh myself on it in the event that the good Lord may send someone my way.

As I was reading there was a section on Jezebel. It concerned me greatly because of recent events going on around us.You can read more about her in 1 Kings. There is also mention of her in Revelation 2:20. (As I write this I am referring to Jezebel as a woman but men can also have this evil spirit within them too.)

She will prey on people who are smart and intelligent. She will want to be friends with those in power like the pastor, the boss, or other people with positions of leadership and power. She will gradually corrupt their visions and thoughts. She will poison them and everyone around them. She can and will destroy them and everything around them. This includes marriages, families and churches.

She will prey on those who are weak. She will find weaknesses where there seem to be none. She may start out as being a follower to these individuals only to assert her power over them at a later time. She will use her followers like puppets to spread her poison throughout.

Jezebel will often appear to be a very spiritual person. She will appear to be more religiously devoted than others and will often claim to be inspired by God, a prophetess. People will follow her advice only to find themselves deceived in the end.

She will defend and become confrontational if accused of doing something. No matter how horrible, sick, or perverted the act she will never admit any wrongdoing and will never repent. She will justify everything she does by her ‘visions’ or by her spiritual insights. She will never show any true humility.

She will challenge authority figures and will attempt to be a leader in every situation. She will go to extremes to discredit the leaders and to cause them to fall. She will be very critical and judgmental and will be so convincing that others will fall victim to their lies and believe them as well. Jezebel will constantly eat away at their victim’s self confidence until there is nothing left. Jezebel will constantly play mind games and create situations that cause themselves to be the center of attention.

The Jezebel spirit is an extremely powerful demonic spirit of perversion, lust, manipulation, mind control, witchcraft and the occult. It can manifest itself in various forms such as lies, rumors, strife, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, competition, bitterness and hatred.

We can see these traits in many women of power. These women claim to be working for the good and may seem to be charming, friendly, trustworthy and generous but they will and have deceived us.

When we use them as role models we see our lives falling apart, our families, our marriages, our communities, our churches and our country will also fall apart.

When a Jezebel is in a position of leadership then she will bring shame to her position. She will cause the downfall of whatever endeavor she is involved in.

If a Jezebel is trying to control her marriage then it can be devastating. She will attack her husband’s role as head of the family. This spirit will undermine her husband and make him lose interest in his responsibility to his family. He will become distant with her and will not feel that he can trust her with his feelings.

Eventually it will cause all kinds of chaos and strife in the family. Parents and kids will constantly be fighting and arguing over everything. There will be no peace to be found.

If you can relate to any of these traits then you can begin by asking God to forgive you. Ask God to show you the way out of the darkness and he will begin to make the change.

If you see this in your church or somewhere around you then be prepared for a fight as this spirit is very powerful and it will take a great battle to rid this spirit.

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Don’t feed the lizards!

Continue reading Don’t feed the lizards!

Taking out the trash.

Continue reading Taking out the trash.

Shattered

This post was from my original blog…

 

Continue reading Shattered

Who can you count on?

Original Blog Post June 6, 2016
I haven’t posted in a bit as I have been super busy around here. My oldest daughter got married last Friday!
Last minute struggles, cancellations and changes had us all running a little crazy around here. Lucky for us we have a BIG family and a few very loyal friends.
The week before the wedding the photographer had cancelled and the catering plans were changed. There were other issues like no one had finished the music, dresses still needed altering and other last minute things. We dealt with each issue one at a time.

Continue reading Who can you count on?

Life

Original Blog Post April 5, 2016
As we live our lives we learn that sometimes things don’t always turn out as we planned. Things don’t stay the same and forever doesn’t always mean forever. Life is not always easy but we as long as we learn from our mistakes and keep getting back up then we will be successful.
The past few years have been hard for our family. Dealing with many issues like adoptions, births, and family members moving out of the house to start new lives. We have also made the decision to begin homeschooling our children and that in itself has had resulted in its own set of challenges but it has also been a blessing to us in so many ways.
We have many challenges in life and we just have to learn to adjust and find ways to work around them or sometimes to work with them. Today’s burden may become tomorrow’s blessing.
I am starting this blog with the hopes of helping other families, as well as my own, with some of life’s problems and disappointments. I pray that we can be a blessing to others who may be going through similar situations.
Keep checking back in with us and I’m sure that my posts will get better with time. May God bless each and everyone who reads and follows us on this journey called LIFE.

Its Not About Me.

Original Blog Post July 12, 2016
Over the past few weeks I have had my feelings hurt quite a bit by someone close to me. I couldn’t understand what I had done to deserve the treatment I was receiving. It brought back so many painful childhood memories and was making me think about making some major life changes.
I didn’t confide in many people about how I was feeling and those people didn’t believe what was going on could be as bad as I felt it was until they saw it for their own eyes. Feeling justified in my feelings didn’t help anything. It didn’t change the behavior either.
Then things kind of blew up a few days ago. This person was being more annoying than ever. This person had to be the center of attention at ALL times. They demanded the attention and if they didn’t get it then they would make up something to get it. I kept feeling like I was being reprimanded for things that they imagined had happened. I noticed that problems were being instigated by these imaginary events. This person was becoming increasingly arrogant and rude to everyone around them.
Finally myself and someone else just told them that we were tired of it. Apparently one after another we let him know how we felt. Did that stop the behavior? No, because it got turned around that we were the ones with the problem. They were the innocent party in the whole mess and couldn’t understand why people were upset with them. Things were a bit tense for a bit but eventually cooled down.
I had lost my temper, which takes a lot, because this person kept accusing me of causing something. Finally after beating myself up over this I had enough. The next time they got in my face about it then I just told them to ‘Stop!’, and I walked away but I ended up looking like the dramatic one.
As I’ve thought about the events I realize that this has been an ongoing problem. When I was younger I never felt like anything I did was ever good enough. No matter what award or achievement I reached this person always had something to top it. No matter how much stuff this person has they always need more. If the neighbor gets something then they have to have one bigger and better too. (Even if they have 10 of them not being used already.) They were always quick to dole out criticism but angered if someone gave it back to them. These are just a few of the things that I have been reminded of.
As I’ve thought about the events I realize that this has been an ongoing problem. When I was younger I never felt like anything I did was ever good enough. No matter what award or achievement I reached this person always had something to top it. No matter how much stuff this person has they always need more. If the neighbor gets something then they have to have one bigger and better too. (Even if they have 10 of them not being used already.) They were always quick to dole out criticism but angered if someone gave it back to them. These are just a few of the things that I have been reminded of.
When it boils down to it this person is selfish and doesn’t truly care about the feelings of the people around them. They only look at what they can gain from being around others and don’t take into account how others will feel about being used.
This person was robbing me of my joy. I no longer wanted to even be around them. They even had me questioning my own memories about past events.
Well I say enough is enough. I refuse to be a doormat for the rude and degrading behaviors that have been going on lately. Is this going to be easy? Probably not, but I am determined that things will change or other changes will have to be made.

Dear Special Needs Parent

Original Blog Post on July 12, 2016
Dear Special Needs Parent, I see you in the grocery store, at the doctor’s office, and at the park. I see the smiles that hide the tears. I see the tired look you try to hide. I hear the little sigh you let out when another mom talks about ‘date night’ or a milestone their child has reached. How do I see and hear all of this? I am a special needs mom, a single parent, a homeschooling mom, and so much more.
I know how hard it is to get up at the crack of dawn because your kid is already up and calling for you, even though they didn’t fall asleep until late. I know how hard it is to divide your attention between the kids, the chores, and all that has to be done. Much less finding time to do things for yourself like shower.
Honestly, I can’t remember the last ‘date night’ I’ve had or even the last time I was away from my kids for a night. (Maybe when the 3 year old was born?) I know that when you try to plan an outing it drains you because of all the things you have to be prepared for. You are exhausted by the time you get everything and everyone packed and ready.
Things that were once fun can still be fun but they are oh so exhausting now days. We have our good days when nobody has a melt down (or maybe just a couple of melt downs for the day), nobody wets the bed, and everyone eats what you made for dinner.
Then we have the bad days. The days when everything causes a meltdown, from the French Toast you make every Tuesday to keep things on a simple routine, to the thunder they thought they heard, or the little brother who is stuck on singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (which was big brother’s favorite song yesterday but is irritating him today). Sigh, I know.
Then we have the really bad days were we just want to go back to bed. The days when you have done 3 loads of laundry before 6 am. When you have showered your 13 year old 4 times before 7am and stripped his room (and the bathroom) and completely disinfected and sanitized it for the 3rd day in a row. The days when he has forgotten/refuses to do anything for himself and calls you every bad name he can think of and then some that you can’t and don’t want to understand. I’ve been there. Sometimes these phases last a day or two or sometimes a week or two.
I can remember a few years ago when I had to clean my son’s room. It was a horrible mess. I grabbed rubber gloves and trash bags. I went to his room and opened the window. I filled those bags and started tossing them out the window because it was so nasty and I just couldn’t bear the thought of cleaning the stuff again just to have him repeat this scene again in a day or two. I was about 3 weeks from my due date with our 8th child. While cleaning I started throwing up because it was so bad. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days, at one point they thought I would be delivering the baby early. This was a week before Christmas and we had already planned a party for friends and family. The timing couldn’t have been worse. The party was cancelled and all last minute Christmas shopping went undone. But we made it through that and you will make it through whatever it is that you are going through right now too. (A very healthy baby boy was born 2 weeks later.)
I have my kids 24/7 with only a slight reprieve two times a week (when he feels like coming or something else doesn’t come up in his schedule) for maybe 2 hours a time (which was scheduled to be 5 hours each time but he never makes it that long). I can’t leave because something always happens. Sometimes I go to my bedroom or sit outside but the kids usually wander away and end up with me so I really have almost no ‘Me time’.
I know the brave front you put on when you are out and about. I know the fear when the kid next to you wipes their snotty nose on their hand and then goes to play with your kid. I know that if my kid catches whatever that is that life will be miserable for the next week or two. Not too mention the fact that it will eventually spread through the house and I’ll end up sick trying to tend to 6 kids by myself too. Yep, I know.
I also know that we need to be there for each other. We need to be a support system for each other. Whether by joining blogs or Facebook groups. If someone offers to help then let them. They can do dishes, wash laundry or just sit with the kids while you nap. Maybe when you the kids get comfortable you can even sneak away to do the grocery shopping by yourself.
Don’t keep trying to do it by yourself as you will just crash and burn. Trust me, I know.
If you are a friend or neighbor, maybe a parent or sibling of someone who has a special needs child please know that they do need you and they need your support. I can’t tell you how much it means just to chat for a minute on Messenger or a couple of texts when I am having a hard day. Let me tell you that I will never turn down food, especially ready to eat food. When someone shows up unexpectedly at the door with an armload of pizzas it is a wonderful feeling to know they were thinking about you.

Who Am I?

I am a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter, I am a person just like you. All to often we forget that the people who are subjects of the rumors and gossip flying around are people just like you and I. They are someone’s child, parent, sibling, friend or spouse. They are real and they have feelings. When you listen to the tales spun by someone you should always consider the source and what it is that this person may have to gain from speaking out about another. Remember that you are only hearing the side of the story that they want you to hear.
The ones telling the stories try their best to dehumanize the person they are talking about. They make them out to be a horrid monster with no feelings. A witch or a crazy psycho. They put the blame for their problems on the other person and have a fine tale to explain how the other person is responsible for whatever situation they are in. They never stop to consider how their lies will affect the other person, their friends, or their family. When confronted with the truth they will deny ever having said those nasty comments.
If you are drawn in by someone’s sad story please remember that you may become the target of their next sad story. Trust me, I know this all too well.
Before repeating of commenting on the remarks think about what you would do, or how you would feel if that was you they were talking about. What if it were you mother or father? What if it were your child or grandchild? What if it were friend?
I am a not a monster but a flesh and blood human being just like you! I breathe the same air and my heart beats just like the one beating in your chest. I am not perfect nor will I ever be perfect in this lifetime. I cry, I laugh, I have the same struggles as everyone else, maybe a few more. I lose my temper sometimes, I yell, I scream, and sometimes I say things I don’t mean. I have made my share of mistakes, just as you reading this have, and I try my best to learn from those mistakes. I admit that I haven’t always handled every situation with the best of grace but I try.
I am often too trusting, too selfless, too loving, and too patient. I often bend over backwards to help others and make life easier for them. I try to find the good in every one and every situation. Sometimes I try to hard. I usually expect to be treated the way I have treated others. I forget that we are all human and we will all disappoint one another in some way or another. Sometimes I just expect and anticipate too much from those around me and then I am so disappointed and hurt when things don’t turn out the way I had expected.
Lately I am stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I constantly have to push myself to go further and do more than I feel I can. I try not to complain. I have found strength I didn’t know I had.
I have heard so many things about myself that I know are not true. It hurts, it really does. I have cried so much about these lies and rumors. They have caused me so much heartache and more so because one of the people responsible for starting them was someone I love and care about deeply. I never expected this. I never expected to be constantly harassed and humiliated on an almost daily basis now. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if I had expected it, I don’t know.
Lately I have felt this bitterness creeping up inside of me and it is the most awful feeling. It chokes out all of your peace and joy. It overshadows everything else and makes it impossible for you to see the beauty of what is in front of you. It is a thief and robber.
It told me that I should be angry and upset. After all, I am the one who was left to be the ‘responsible one’. I am the one who is working 24/7 to keep this family going. I am the one who wakes up several times during the night to help the little ones go back to sleep. I am the one who is here dealing with the day to day needs of a large family and dealing with the extra challenges of special needs children. I am the one who sleeps alone in my bed EVERY night and prays for GOD to heal my broken heart. I ask HIM to wake me from this horrible dream. When I open my eyes I am still alone and I have no shoulder to cry on when I realize again and again that this is not a dream. I am the one who was committed and faithful only to have my heart broken time and time again. I am the one who NEVER gets to take a ‘break’ from it all. When I ask for a break I always get the same response, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve got other plans.’.
Then in the darkness of night I know that GOD is there and HE has my back, always has and always will. HE is the greatest comforter of all and HE has the biggest shoulders of anyone. HE understands me completely and HE listens. Without HIM I can do nothing!
Then I look at our family. It brings me to tears. They are a constant reminder of the dreams we had and the promises we made. They don’t deserve this. I try my best to shield them. They know Mommy is sad but they don’t know why. They don’t see the sacrifices I make, they don’t know the pleading and begging I have done to try to change the outcome.
When all else fails there is nothing left to do but to get rid of the bitterness that haunts me. The only way to get rid of the bitterness is to forgive. How do I forgive when I feel like I can’t? I remember the forgiveness that GOD has shown me. I will be the first to admit that I don’t deserve the mercy and grace that my LORD has shown me so many times. I pray that HE will change my heart and help me to forgive when I feel I can’t. With GOD’s help I can forgive even when it seems impossible. I will grant forgiveness even if it hasn’t been asked for.
So right now, I forgive all those who have gossiped about me. I forgive those who have had a hand (and the ones who won’t admit that they did) in the destruction of our marriage. I have been bitter against everyone who has spoken badly about me, those who have encouraged his addictions and selfishness, those who never supported us. I forgive you all even if you don’t want me to. I forgive him for all the things I have been through these past couple of years. Please understand that just because I forgive does not mean I will forget.
I also ask for forgiveness. I must ask that all of the ‘exes’ please forgive me as I, at one time, believed the stories about you. The stories that are all to similar to the stories being told about me. Please know that I apologize for anything I may have believed without getting your side of the story.
I also ask for forgiveness from those who have been affected by the lies and rumors that have been told. Please know that I am deeply sorry that you may have been affected by what was going on in my life. I also forgive anyone who has believed these lies and rumors and those that have contributed to the spreading of them.
I will remember those who have been there for me. I thank each and everyone one of my friends and family for supporting us through this time. You will never know how much I have appreciated each and every one of your thoughts and prayers. Most importantly I thank GOD for giving me the strength to get through this. Its not over yet and even after the legalities are taken care of it still won’t be ‘over’ as we have a family together.
So, Who am I? I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I am soon to be the dreaded ‘ex-wife’ and that’s OK. I am still a work in progress but I know GOD is not through with me and I have hope and faith that there are better things to come. I pray that GOD will plant a seed of forgiveness in the heart of everyone who reads this so you can experience the fullness of HIS mercy and grace. If you have never experienced HIS forgiveness I pray that you will and you will understand why I must forgive.

The End of a Chapter…

I can remember the first time my husband proposed to me, and the second, I said ‘No’ both times because he wasn’t sober and I didn’t think he meant it. When we did get married there was no proposal, no ceremony surrounded by friends, no pictures, not even an announcement to our close family or friends. We went to the courthouse and applied for our license. There was another couple there who where getting married and we decided to do it then and there too. The other couple, complete strangers, were our witnesses. We didn’t even tell anyone for almost a month. No celebration, no honeymoon, nothing, we didn’t even have rings.
That didn’t matter to me because I meant what I had said in our vows. This was a new partnership, a commitment, two families becoming one, a forever thing. There was nothing too big or too small that we couldn’t tackle together. We would be there to support each other through the hard times and the bad. So what happened?
Honestly it wasn’t any one thing. It wasn’t all him or all me. I felt as though I took my vows way more seriously than my husband. I saw problems and I wanted to talk about them and work on them but that just pushed him away. The responsibilities and stress of a large blended family started to take its toll really quickly. Add the extra demands of special needs children and it could be overwhelming at times. I began to see his need for something that I couldn’t fill no matter how hard I tried. I failed. Again and again. Then I realized that I was trying to be someone I wasn’t in order to make him happy and I was becoming more and more unhappy myself. I didn’t like it.
He started leaving for longer and longer periods of time. He said he deserved time to himself. I felt he was being selfish, I mean when did I ever have time to myself other than going to the bathroom? He would often say we were ‘taking a break’ and leave for days at a time. My heart tried its best to rationalize what these absences were but I just couldn’t understand and my suspicions started to grow.
I can remember a conversation with a family member almost 2 years ago. Someone had asked me how my husband was doing. I said that I didn’t know him anymore. He was a different person than who I had fallen in love with. I was honest when I told them that I wasn’t even sure if he would be at home when I got back. I cried when I realized I had admitted what my heart had been feeling for so long. He was gone, not physically, but in every other way he wasn’t my partner anymore.
I desperately tried to cling to the tattered remnants of our marriage and somehow weave them into a strong relationship but it was impossible to do on my own. The trust had been broken so many times and the lies had weakened every thread there was left. I still held onto the hope that it could be fixed so I believed him every time he said it would change. I was left feeling drained every time it didn’t. The more I tried the harder he pushed me away.
Our marriage needed something I couldn’t provide on my own. We tried counseling as he suggested I needed to go before he would. Nothing changed. I tried to talk but it would end up in an argument. Our priorities didn’t match up and we both felt like the other was headed in an opposite direction.
So we both failed to provide what the other one needed. I refused to go against my morals and beliefs. I refused to change to be the person he felt he needed me to be. He refused to get the help I felt he needed, help that I couldn’t give. I felt like I was being torn between my kids and my husband, no choice a mother and wife should ever have to make. I chose my kids and I would do it again if I had it to do over. I still stand behind my choices because I know I have other responsibilities.
The past couple of years have been an emotional roller coaster. There have been ups and boy have there been so many downs. Words have been said that shouldn’t have been said and I have been hurt deeper than I ever thought I could be hurt. I have been humiliated and gossiped about by the person I once thought was my best friend again and again with no remorse.
I still held on to our marriage even though it no longer looked or felt like a marriage anymore. It felt as if I was stuck in a sticky spider web woven from lies and deceit littered with the remains of forgotten promises and abandoned dreams all around me. I have sheltered our kids from as much of it as I could but when things/people threatened to involve them I saw I had to draw a line. When I did he asked for a divorce. That felt like such a slap after all that I had put up with and the sacrifices I had made to try to keep us from ‘The End’. But there was also a feeling of relief that I felt.
After a couple of months I finally saw that ‘The End’ had come before he had asked for the divorce. He finally told me the truth and it was hard to take. It hurt worse than I could’ve imagined. The divorce is only the legal paperwork to show ‘The End’. The realization makes me cry and saddens my heart. I know this is only an ending to this chapter of my life and there will be more chapters to come. I have forgiven him and myself for what has happened and I have hope that there will be happier days ahead and with time the pain and hurt will subside.

Do you ever just want to get away from it all?

Original Blog Post April 26, 2016
Today has been one of those days, well actually the past few months have had several of those days, where I just want to get away.
I want to grab a few things and take a hike. Go somewhere remote for a few days. Somewhere quiet. Anywhere but here. I need some space to think about recent events. I need some quietness so I can think. I just need a bit of time to sort a few things out in my head.
I try to sneak in quiet time every day, the key word being try, but somehow it always gets interrupted. About the only quiet time I have is when I wake up before the alarm and lay in bed afraid to move because I might wake up one of the kids that have climbed into my bed during the night. I need some space to think about recent events. I need some quietness so I can think. I just need a bit of time to sort a few things out in my head.
It seems that my poor brain might explode with all the thoughts and ideas swimming around. The constant list of To-Dos that need checked off and the multitude of other items that need my constant attention.
I just need a break.
I think about a cabin in the woods, or just a tent. Nothing around but me and the trees. Maybe the sound of a babbling brook in the background. As I think of how peaceful it would be I am reminded of how lonely I would be. I am not a person who is good at being alone. Never have been and probably never will be. I need someone to be near me even if we aren’t talking just so long as they are close then I am OK.
Then as I think some more I know I couldn’t leave the kids behind. I know there are way too many responsibilities here at home and I know that this is nothing more than a wishful fantasy. Maybe one day. So for now maybe we can all get away. Go camping and enjoy the great outdoors. Maybe I can take the kids for a LONG hike and put them to bed early. I can stay up and watch the stars, alone… but not alone, and just think about nothing more than how peaceful it is.
I don’t know about you but I am ready to just get away for a bit.

What about today?

Original Blog Post April 24, 2016
I’m having a horrible dream, tossing and turning, and just can’t sleep well. I’m dreaming my husband is gone. He left and he isn’t coming back. I can feel such intense emotions and it feels so real I wake up with tears in my eyes.
I turn and reach for him but he’s not there. Then I realize its not just a dream but reality. Yes, he did walk out. A bit of panic sets in as I once again try to come to terms with the feelings of loneliness and abandonment. The feelings of broken trust and infidelity. The fear of what lies ahead.
How am I supposed to do this? I need someone to help me. He promised to be here. He promised to be a father to our children. He promised to quit drinking. He promised to be faithful to me. He promised to take care of us. But he couldn’t keep those promises so he left.
He is happy, for now. He expects me to sit and wait until this ‘phase’ passes and he feels the urge to change. He admits he may never feel the need to change, but he might, one day.
What about today? What about tonight? I want someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be ok. I want someone to wipe away my tears. I want to snuggle in the crook of an arm where I fit perfectly. I want to talk about the future and make plans. I want to fall asleep and dream of the memories I want to make to cherish when I’m old.
There is no pause button in LIFE… It just keeps happening whether we want it to or not. It will keep going on and we have to go with it.
I remember some words in a song I heard earlier by Chris Cagle… Breathe in, breathe out… That’s what I do. Take it moment by moment, day by day. That’s all I can do. There might come a day when he wakes up and sees what he left but I don’t know if I’ll still be waiting.
I try to stay busy so I don’t think about it. Its in the dark of the night when the feelings hit the hardest. So I’ll pray. God will listen, he will wipe away my tears, he will replace my fears with hope, and he will be there for me.
Always.