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Do you ever feel like you have a dark cloud over you that you just can’t shake? Well, it’s been that way for a bit here. We’ve had more downs than ups but I know that it won’t last forever.
A few months back I mentioned that we had tried to get a house and it just didn’t work out. We haven’t given up but things have been quite a bit tougher than we ever imagined during this process and honestly, I’m about to lose my ever-lovin’ mind with paperwork on top of paperwork. (I’ve been hinting about a big surprise and was hoping to have some major housing updates by now but so far NADA.)
This quaint little cabin has some major issues and we have been working on them a little at a time but sometimes I just wanna throw my hands up in the air and quit. Seriously, it’s hard living in 600 square feet with 7 people and a doggie. I do love this little cabin and its location but in all honesty, it’s not been an easy transition for me.
I had planned on doing a Swedish Death Cleaning At The Cabin but that hasn’t entirely happened… yet. Yes, I have tackled a few areas but there is so much more that needs to be done. I am just not motivated at all, then when I do have a twinge of motivation something happens like…
The dryer quit. We’ve taken it apart and tried to find the problem with no luck. I’ve googled and asked everyone and checked it over 100+ times to no avail. When I finally decided it was useless cause I checked Facebook Marketplace and messaged several sellers about used dryers with no response at all from anyone.
I have some money saved up and I could go get a dryer but I’m kinda holding onto that money for something else. I also contemplated having Mr. Awesome put me up a clothesline but really we don’t have a good place to put it right now so I ended up buying a couple of drying racks that we set out on the porch. Our laundry schedule did get kind of crazy and backed up for a week but we are back on track now.
The dryer racks work as well as to be expected considering that it has been so rainy and humid here. I mean it has been raining and raining and raining. I know it could be a lot worse as lots of areas around us are flooded or near flood levels but we are fine other than a muddy yard and wet clothes on the porch… oh and the mosquitoes! The mosquitoes are so horrible right now and we have to keep bug spray at the door and on the porch for quick access because I can’t even walk near the screen door without a mosquito sneaking in to take a bite.
Then the ice maker went out in the fridge… actually it may have gone out before the dryer but anywho that did cause a bit of chaos as some of us really like ice-cold drinks. I searched high and low for my ice cube trays but ended up buying a few from the Dollar Store. I empty then and fill them up daily from our wonderful Berkey and we enjoy cold, fresh, clean water every day. We really love our Berkey and I just ordered some more filters and the see-through spigot because we go through so much water it’s crazy!
Then my phone died… well, not completely but close enough. It got to where it wouldn’t let me answer calls and then it would shut off for no reason. It would just go black from time to time and I couldn’t take pictures with it. I finally broke down and took part of my savings to get an upgraded phone but then I had issues trying to get everything transferred as the old one had quit doing backups several months ago. I finally got it figured out and the phone is doing so much better.
I know that all of these are just minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of things but there have just been so many little things, almost on a daily basis, that it really wears a person down. Put that on top of dealing with 5-7 kiddos every day and a doggie who refuses to let me sleep past 7:00 am and I am an exhausted mess.
We had so many things going on that we even missed a whole month of square dances at one club. We just got back into going there this month but sometimes even that seems like a hassle as there is just not a lot of interest in it. It’s a sad thing as square dancing really is a perfect family activity for all ages. It’s a lot cheaper than most other activities and you can have a ton of fun. A lot of clubs will be starting classes soon but I just don’t really have the energy to promote right now like I have in the past.
Just this weekend I realized that I really let my YouTube channel go… I don’t even remember when the last video was posted. I plan to get some videos going again but just haven’t had a chance to work on anything.
On top of everything else, earlier in the summer, we had someone ‘help’ us clear some trees and that turned into a big ordeal. I should have known better than to ask this person but I tried to give them the benefit of doubt which I now regret. It ended up costing us quite a bit of money and some bad feelings between family members.
We’ve really tried to put this behind us but then I found out yesterday that this person is spreading some rumors about us… again. I guess it gets to me because I wouldn’t do that to someone, especially not my family.
Things are looking up though as today seems like fairly nice weather, so far, and then I was checking emails and found one, from Proverbs 31 Ministries, that talked about not feeling guilty for setting those boundaries with people who don’t treat us right just as the tabernacle had boundaries. We need to guard our hearts and sometimes that means not letting certain people get to close to us which is what I have done.
I have set boundaries in the past and then let others make me feel guilty about it only to let my guard down and let this person get close enough to hurt me again and again. This time I will be more cautious about taking down those boundaries and letting this person get close, especially now that I know they are spreading so much gossip around.
I also read another one about being where GOD wants us to be when HE wants us to be there. I know that even though our life has been filled with many stormy days lately we are where GOD would have us be right now. HE has a plan and HE is preparing the way, we just need to be patient and trust in HIS plan even though it doesn’t seem to make sense right now. It will all come together in perfect time.
This weekend I also learned about the health battles of a fellow large family-homeschooling momma, who I never met in person but followed on YouTube. Andrea Mills was a role model in so many ways and so many people looked to her for inspiration. The story from the past few weeks has been so sad and heart wrenching to follow and I, along with thousands of others have prayed for her and her family.
The reality is that we don’t know what GOD’s plans are for us but we need to wholeheartedly trust in HIM even when things don’t go the way we planned. Our struggles here are so small compared to what this family is going through and it makes me realize just how blessed I am to be here in this tiny little cabin with my kids close by. I am thankful for each and every breath that I have been given and that I will be given even though I don’t know when my last one will come. I am determined to make the most of each and every day that HE gives me and I will try my best to be a role model that others can look up to.
I know there are sunny days ahead for my family and for the Mills family but we have to go through the dark stormy days so that we can appreciate the good ones. I know that one day my family will be able to look back on some of these blog posts and remember the things that we did and that wen went through just like Andrea’s family will be able to look back through the countless videos she made.
I apologize that this post kind of rambled on and went crazy but I just wrote what was on my heart right now. It also didn’t help that I have a child asking me questions every 30 seconds or so that kept derailing my train of thought. If you get a chance please say a prayer for the Mills family, and maybe a little one for my family as well. You can also donate to the Mills family, if it is laid on your to do so, with the GoFundMe account here:
Thank you all for being my listening ear and for sticking around my blog. We wish you all a very blessed week!