Domestic Violence & The Holidays

I know this is a subject that many of us don’t like to talk about but truth is we do need to talk about it as it affects many of us or people we know.

The holidays are stressful and this can bring out the bad side of people. I know, I’ve been there, and sometimes it can result in an increase of domestic violence. I know from my own experience that the holidays can be very hard, especially when you have kids, to try to get through on your own.

It can be so hard in so many ways. You see all of these happy couples doing all of those wonderful holiday things. They are walking hand in hand while shopping for gifts or your best friend is gushing about how her husband is so perfect and he has picked out the best early Christmas present for her.

Sometimes loneliness can lead us into rash decisions like letting an ex back into our life that we probably shouldn’t. Sometimes parents, I’ve been guilty of this, feel bad for separating and possibly ruining their children’s Christmas. Or sometimes they try to hold off the inevitable breakup until after the holidays have passed. They attempt to hold it together and pretend to be the perfect couple/family while everyone is around.

Then there are times when things seem fine but under the surface one person or both have issues that they haven’t let out. They may hold certain expectation for Christmas or  expectations of what others should or shouldn’t be doing. When things don’t go as planned then everything boils over.

Sadly, too many times, this results in domestic violence. The police may be called, and in some states both parties are taken to jail, or someone may end up in the hospital or worse. I can’t go back and change the memories that some of my kids have from previous holidays however I know this season will be so much different and better but I also have a heavy heart for all of those who are currently in that situation.

There were many holiday events I have attended where no one knew about the bruises I had covered or trying not to wince every time someone came to hug me. I can’t forget the one where I actually had a fractured disc but forced myself to make my expected appearance at his family dinner. There were other times I was humiliated because I couldn’t afford fancy or expensive gifts like other someone wife’s had purchased.

So please, I ask that if you or someone you know may be a victim of DV please don’t try to be brave and hold it together. Think of yourself and your family and don’t take the chance of having something like this happen. If you know you are in a violent situation or you aren’t sure then please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Don’t be afraid to dial 911 if you are in a true emergency.

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