I’m sitting at the kitchen island trying to go over a few things in my head. Trying not to dwell on some of the many things that have been bothering me lately. This week has been a little crazy with Christmas and just being out of routine. It’s been about all I could do to stay sane.
We’ve had meltdowns upon meltdowns. Some not so bad and some pretty monstrous ones. I’ve have several things on my To Do list that haven’t been finished. Not that I haven’t tried it just seems that everyone around me has been having a crazy week as well.
Then there have been unexpected surprises, like a donkey in my yard, that have happened. The donkey is an old friend and she has been returned safely. The kids enjoyed seeing her again too.
I did manage to finally get my grocery list finished only to have a deposit not come through on time. So the major shopping will have to wait. We have all we need so I’m not worried.
Then I have been able to work on a few ideas for my blog. I managed to sketch out a rough schedule for my posts also so I can try to be more organized with that.
I made and printed out my new worksheet for my bills. This had been on my list for a while. I had one saved on my old computer but haven’t had the chance to check the old hard drive to see if it was saved when the computer died.
And then there are matters of the heart that have been pestering me. I try my best not to dwell on them as I know that God will provide me with what I need in His time.
Sometimes though I have to wonder if there is someone out there crazy enough to actually want to be a part of this insanity that I call life. I smile as I say that because I’m sure there is one out there but I don’t know where he is right now. I know I can’t rush it but that doesn’t make me stop wishing he’d get his butt over here because I need some adult conversation every now and then.
Every time it seems that I’m being led in one direction the rug kinda gets pulled out from under me and I’m left wondering what happened all over again. That’s really hard to take.
It reminds me of cat I used to have. I would work on puzzles, those 1000+ piece puzzles, and leave them out on a table to come back to. It would never fail that my cat would wait until the puzzle was almost completed and then he’d get on the table and destroy it.
That’s kinda how I feel right now. I thought I saw a picture coming together but something happened and the pieces are scattered all over again.
I will keep trying to put it together as maybe I had some of the pieces in the wrong place. If not, I know it is just part of God’s plan for me and my life.
That doesn’t make it hurt any less but it does give me a little comfort knowing that He has the pieces in His hand and that He will help me put it all together in the end.
For now though I’m gonna go sit with the kiddos and finish up the episode of Big Cat Diary before they head to bed. Then I’ll tuck them in and kiss them goodnight before I head to my closet for a little bit of quiet time before I go to bed myself.
Good night my friends!